Common Ground
by NatureGirl52180
Summary: Post DOTM: Sometimes, two individuals that seem to have the least in common are actually opposite sides of the same coin . . .
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note: **__My one-shots are totally getting away from me lately. This plot bunny presented itself during the course of writing another one-shot that is running into seventy pages. I'm stuck on that one just a bit, so I give you this instead. Fluffy-ish-ness._

**_Disclaimer:_**_ don't own these characters, I'm playing with them. Post DOTM_

* * *

><p>It really was a perfect storm of coincidence and sheer ill-timing.<p>

All things being equal, the first meeting between Colonel William Lennox and the Autobot known as 'Prowl' should have been a meeting of two disciplined, loyal beings, each committed to the cause. They were straight-laced, methodical, but still able to think on their feet. Anyone who knew both of them would have concluded they would have worked well together.

In fact, such would be the case . . . later in their relationship. But their initial meeting was simply nothing more than a debacle.

And Sideswipe would take full responsibility for it, especially while he was showing the surreptitiously filmed footage of the entire proceeding.

News had reached Will that three more Autobots had landed on Earth while he and his family were in California visiting Sarah's parents for their 50th wedding anniversary. The big celebration had already taken place and the Colonel had decided that he needed to cut the visit short in the interest of briefing the new arrivals and getting them situated at the base a few miles north of Plateau, Texas. Sarah had agreed, but wanted to spend some more time with her family. It was concluded that she and Annabelle would stay behind, even if it did mean utilizing more mundane methods of travel than a flashy, silver Corvette that transformed into a giant robot.

And so it was, that in his excitement at meeting new comrades, Sideswipe careened recklessly into the base, skidding to a stop in front of the modified main hangar, just as the sun was setting in the west. He promptly popped his door to let the Colonel out. The man had stepped from inside and Sideswipe had assumed it was safe to shut the door and begin the transformation process.

He could never be exactly sure how it happened. Apparently, Will had reached back inside for something he had forgotten and hadn't moved his hand quickly enough. All Sideswipe knew was that when he exuberantly slammed his door, it connected with flesh and bone. There was an anguished cry of pain from his friend and commander. With a yelp, Sideswipe swung the door open again, registering that Will was bent over in agony, holding his hand and breathing hard.

Once he was sure Will was clear this time, Sideswipe shut the door and transformed quickly, activating his com as he did so. "Sideswipe to Ratchet."

"_Ratchet. Go ahead_."

"Bring the human medic. I broke Lennox."

"_Damn it, you glitch_." And with that, he was gone.

Fear and guilt welling through his circuits, Sideswipe knelt down beside his human friend. Will's heart-rate was elevated, but he seemed to have a handle on himself. He had straightened, but pain still clearly etched his features. "I'm sorry, Boss."

"It's all right." Will said soothingly. Well, as soothingly as he could through clenched teeth. "I should have let you know I was going back in."

"Yeah, but I should have been paying better attention."

"It's okay, Sides." Will smiled and then grimaced. "Trust me when I tell you it's not the first time I've gotten my hand caught in a car door."

Sideswipe had seen Lennox hurt only once or twice before. The human was simply too good and too careful to be caught off guard. But when he did get injured, he did it right and this was the first instance where the colonel was actually still conscious. Sideswipe reflected that maybe it would have been better if he had smacked the human in the head with his door instead of smashing his hand. At least he wouldn't be feeling the pain.

Taking a deep inhale, Will started across the compound under his own power, declining Sideswipe's offer to carry him. Despite the obvious pain he was feeling, his steps were steady and even. The man kept his hand cradled against him, blood staining the front of his shirt. Sideswipe followed him, walking as lightly and carefully as he could to avoid shaking the ground and jarring Will, causing more discomfort.

A fit, middle-aged man emerged from the main hangar, situated centrally on the sprawling base. Catching sight of Will, Captain Thomas jogged over lightly swinging the human first aid pack from his back. "What happened, Colonel?"

"Just an accident." Will sucked air through his teeth. "I caught my hand in Sideswipe's door."

"_I _caught his hand in the door." Sideswipe corrected, even though he became aware that Ratchet had followed Thomas out of the hangar, probably with the sole intent of slapping him silly. At the moment, though, he didn't care. Will Lennox was _his _charge and he had done this to him in his carelessness. Ironhide would have kicked his plates all over the base and he would have deserved it, too.

His processor raced, thinking back to something Ratchet had said about extensive limb injuries in humans. "You're not going to have to cut it off, right?"

Despite the pain, Will snickered and then gasped as Thomas manipulated his hand. Thomas was the one that responded, though, in a soft, soothing voice that never wavered; either in the midst of saving a human life or weathering one of Ratchet's tirades. "I think amputation would be an extreme measure in this case."

"Is he okay?"

Thomas had pressed some gauze to Will's hand. "It's a pretty good laceration and I'm willing to bet there's at least a couple of cracked bones in there. But I think he'll be able to play the piano."

"Will, you play the piano?" Sideswipe asked, surprised.

"No." Will chuckled a bit. "It's an old stupid joke that the Captain is using to distract you."

Yeah, well. He wasn't going to be distracted. "What about the blood? That stuff's important to your systems."

"It's okay," Will told him as he cradled his arm and began to walk with Thomas towards the human medical bay, holding the gauze in place to stem the bleeding. "It's not like energon. We make more all the time."

"You do? Cool." Sideswipe found his interest peaked as he followed the humans, reasoning that Ratchet would be more likely to hold off his own admonishment if Sideswipe remained in their company. There was no hope that the reprimand would be forestalled indefinitely, but Sideswipe would avoid it as long as possible.

Besides, he really wanted to make sure Thomas didn't cut anything off of Will.

* * *

><p>The entire process was rather interesting. With this new hangar, it was possible for Cybertronians to interact more freely with their human allies. The main floor was open, the ceiling tall enough for even Optimus Prime to move around without stooping. There was a recreation area near the security center that contained facilities to accommodate both species, a fueling station for the Autobots, and the essential coffee maker for the humans.<p>

All human facilities were located on the second floor, ringing the larger great room and allowing the Autobots to interact with their shorter allies on a more comfortable level. Thomas's med bay was above Ratchet's own, something the human had actually requested. For reasons unknown, the studious man seemed to enjoy the grouchy medic's company, holding long conversations with him about Cybertronian versus human medicine and conferring with each other on curative matters. Plus, Thomas gave the impression that he was amused at the tantrums the medic threw.

So the Cybertronians stood, peering into the medical bay, watching as Thomas stapled the laceration on the back of Will's hand and then fitted him with a soft cast that would allow the wound to breathe and heal. "You're lucky. A couple of hairline cracks, that's all."

"Thanks, Doc."

"You want me to call Sarah?"

"Nah." Will said drowsily as the pills Thomas had given him to relieve the pain had started to kick in. "I'll call her tomorrow."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." Will smiled, "I don't want her running all the way back here tonight."

There was a clatter on the steps as Epps climbed them. After Chicago, the man had come back to the unit. His reasons he had kept to himself, but Sideswipe suspected that after the battle, it had become clear Epps had truly missed them. After the perceived destruction of the Autobots, he had joined Sam Witwicky in attempting to avenge them. As much as he complained about the 'weirdness', Sideswipe could only guess that Epps had finally come to terms with it and decided that NEST was truly where he belonged.

He handed the clothes he was carrying to Thomas. "There you go, Doc."

Thomas took the items from him and went back into the bay, pulling the curtain as he encouraged Lennox to change. Epps looked up at both Ratchet and Sideswipe. "What happened?"

Ratchet raised an optic ridge at Sideswipe. He exvented. "I happened. I closed my door on Will's hand."

"In recklessness." Ratchet added hotly.

"Easy, Doc Bot." Epps told the larger mech, "It was an accident. Surprised it doesn't happen more often. Do you know how many smashed fingers I got from working with those three stooges?"

'The Three Stooges' were Leadfoot, Topspin, and Roadbuster, collectively known as the Wreckers. One of Epps primary functions on their new base was to keep the trio in line and encourage them to interact more amiably with both Autobot and human allies. Even though he handled it well, the general consensus was that no one envied his job.

"I'm actually shocked you're still alive." Ratchet grumbled before turning back to Sideswipe, temper controlled, but certainly still simmering. "You must be more careful. Did you consider what would have happened if it had been young Annabelle's hand instead of her father's?"

Oh Primus, he hadn't thought of that. Seeing Will hurt was bad enough, but to hear the six-year-old child wailing in pain, pain that Sideswipe had caused? A shiver went down his back-strut. He couldn't stand the thought.

Epps's tone took on an angry edge. "Low blow, Ratchet."

"No," Sideswipe cut off Epps's defense. "He's right.

Epps glared at Ratchet one more time before canting his head to study Sideswipe. "Man, I've seen you cut 'Cons in half. And here you are all bent out of shape over a couple of squishies."

He had always liked humans. They had been fun to tease and harass since a lot of them were easily offended and hilariously funny when fussing and yelling. It didn't matter how small they were, if you picked the right one and hit the right buttons, they were ready to tear you apart with their bare hands, even if you had about nine feet and a couple of tons on your side. He liked their spunk.

After Sentinel's betrayal and Ironhide's murder, the Lennox family had become so important to him. Sideswipe had always admired the Weapon's Specialist, seeing him as a mentor. He had harassed the hell out of him, but Sideswipe had always strived to be more like the mech. After his death, Sideswipe hadn't given it a second thought, really. It had just felt like it was his duty to look after the Lennox family in Ironhide's stead. Like paying a debt the younger mech somehow felt he owed his mentor. He had never expected the little band of squishies to become so dear to him.

Epps was still looking at him, obviously concerned that Sideswipe was taking this too hard. "Will is gonna be all right, Sides."

"I hope so." Sideswipe flashed a grin and forced a little sass. "If he dies over a broken hand, Doc ain't much of a doc."

Thomas's voice preluded him as he pushed back the curtain. "I'm willing to bet he lives to 35."

"He's 36." Ratchet replied, looking confused.

Thomas smiled. "See? I'm that good."

Ratchet walked away, grumbling, "A base full of comedians."

"How's he doing?" Epps looked at his CO and friend. Sideswipe leaned in to look too. Will was flat on his back on the small bed, dressed in the T-shirt and baggy sweatpants Epps had brought for him. His injured hand was on his chest, and he was snoring lightly. "He's out cold."

"He doesn't tolerate painkillers well." Thomas told them as he cut the lights in the small medical bay. "It's just a small dose of Percocet and he was out in a few minutes."

"I figured he'd have built up a tolerance to that after all these years." Epps quipped.

"Well, usually he solves the problem for me and just knocks himself out." Thomas replied, moving to wash his hands. "This is one of the few times he hasn't been unconscious and required stronger stuff to keep him sedated. I guess his body just metabolizes it differently."

Epps shook his head before looking back to Sideswipe. "Have you reported to Prime yet?"

"Freakin' Primus in the Pit!" The incident with Lennox had completely driven the original purpose of hauling his sorry aft back to base in such a rush. He had totally forgotten about the new arrivals.

"Relax." Ratchet called from where he was beginning to stow his own tools for the evening. "I already commed him and explained the situation. You were too busy hovering to notice."

"I," Sideswipe started slowly, "do not hover."

"You do."

"Do I look like a helicopter?"

"You look like a pit-spawned, glitch-headed, pain-in-my-aft." Ratchet narrowed his optics at him. "And you're welcome."

Sideswipe thought about thanking the medic, but decided against it. He didn't really blame Ratchet for being angry with him, but he did feel bad enough about the incident without the medic amplifying it exponentially. Being indebted to him, even slightly, wasn't something Sideswipe had the patience to endure at the moment

Thomas was still close by, settling into his desk to work on his files, obviously not willing to wander too far from Will for the time being. Sideswipe would take the time to report to Optimus, meet the new mechs, and then head back to the main hangar to hang out for a while. He tried not to admit it to himself, but he knew he wouldn't be able to go to his own quarters for the evening with Will convalescing in the medical wing. He'd cover his concern from the others with the pretense of watching TV in the rec area or something.

Sideswipe told Epps where he was going and left the main hangar, moving through the large, Cybertronian-sized door towards the rear of the building. The desert air was cool against his plates as the smell of their organic foster home hit his olfactory sensors. He drew in the air deeply, letting his processor work through the different sources.

At first, the smell of this planet had been too much. Cybertron had lacked in that regard. Scents were subtle there, mainly ozone, machinery and warm metal. When Sideswipe had first landed here, everything had assaulted those delicate sensors. Humans smelled funny. Their fossil-fueled transports smelled funny. The musty, mildew hangar at Diego Garcia had been terrible.

But the worst was the burning smell. It triggered memories for him from his last days on Cybertron, a time when any hope he may have once had for his home-planet had begun to fade. As a frontliner, he was used to that smell. It happened in battle. Fumes would brush against his sensory net before breezing to the openness of space. He hardly noticed them as he fought on.

Here, it was worse. Here, it seemed magnified. On this planet, in the heat of battle, the atmosphere clung to it choked the intakes with it. The smell of burning flesh mingled with something that could only be called death.

It had taken a little time to find the right balance with those sensors, but he had managed. Tonight, the smells were pleasant. There were fragrances of flowers from the gardens of the human's on-base houses, lingering scents of food that wafted from the mess hall, and a clean crispness that stole into the perimeters of their camp from the surrounding desert. Definitely different from Cybertron, but quickly coming to mean comfort and safety to Sideswipe.

He moved from the hangar to Optimus's office behind it, checking to make sure all was quiet as he did so. The common area could get rowdy, what with the med bay and the rec room within its confines. So the offices of Prime, Lennox, and several others had been separated from it and another building erected nearby. It was much the same as the main hangar, only with offices and quarters for the Prime. There was comfortable space for his human and Cybertronian colleagues to discuss business matters without their underlings screaming obscenities at each other or the television.

It had surprised him a bit when the United States government had offered them this place as a haven. Granted, they had saved the human race from a future of brutal slavery at the hands of Megatron, but even still, Sideswipe had learned enough about human politics in the last few years to know that getting anything done usually required an act of Primus.

But after Chicago, the humans seemed to understand that an alliance with the Autobots was necessary feature in their lives, now. Megatron was destroyed, but other threats still lingered. There were still Dececticons on the loose. There were probably more threats that even Optimus Prime was as yet unaware of lurking in the cold reaches of space. What it came down to was that the Autobots now called Earth 'home'. They had proven that they would die to protect the planet and its inhabitants. Maybe the message was finally sinking in that they were allies worth having.

Sideswipe knocked on the door to the office hangar and waited for Optimus to acknowledge him. The Prime's office area encompassed most of the back of the hangar, allowing room for mechs and humans to meet comfortably. There was an appropriately-sized desk along the rear wall for Optimus. Large chairs sat scattered around it for his troops to seat themselves. Catwalks with platforms ringed the room, complete with chairs for the humans that came to see Prime on a regular basis.

Sideswipe's optics snapped to the two mechs seated before the Prime's desk now. At the sight of the one on the right, he gasped. "A youngling."

He hadn't seen a young Cybertronian since the early years of the war. They were few in number to begin with, but war as it too often does, hit the most vulnerable first; the old, the sick, the young.

The mechling was in his awkward pre-adolescence. Legs, overly-thin and long for his body but still too short to reach the floor, dangled from the tall chair. He was gawky, faceplates roundish as was the way with younglings. By the doorwings and the red chevron on his helm, Sideswipe could tell that he was of Praxian heritage. He had either chosen or been assigned some sort of alt-mode. There were armor plates in place over his frame, dark blue in color. Bright blue optics, large in his face, stared back at Sideswipe. There was mix of uncertainness, fatigue, and dazedness registering on his young face.

"Bluestreak," the youngling looked to Optimus as the big mech spoke, "I would like you to meet one of our soldiers. This is Sideswipe."

Still feeling a bit of shock at seeing such a young Cybertronian, Sideswipe offered a lopsided grin. "Hi, kiddo."

'Kiddo' obviously didn't register for Bluestreak. He looked questioningly to the older mech seated in the chair beside him. There was a grating of gentle laughter. "It is an earth-term of endearment."

Bluestreak looked back at Sideswipe, his optics darting around. He was still unsure of him, obviously going through enough in his young life to make him wary of any mech besides his caretaker.

With an effort, Sideswipe tore his gaze from the youngling and looked to said mech. As he stood, Sideswipe noted that he was shorter and boxier. Dusty green plates covered his form and a cannon was mounted above his right servo. He was an older mech, somewhere near or even beyond Ironhide's age. He offered a warm smile as he nodded to Sideswipe. "We're pleased to meet you, Sideswipe."

"Likewise." Not as gruff as 'Hide, but likable enough, it seemed.

"Sideswipe, this is Hound." Optimus introduced the two. "He is one of the best scouts I've ever had in my command."

"Was." Hound laughed gently. "I'm afraid my joints are getting rusty, Optimus. I'm not up to sneakin' past enemy lines much anymore."

"I'm sure our current Special Operations staff would be most grateful to learn from your experience, old friend."

Sideswipe suppressed a smirk. Bee would be more than happy to learn from the old mech. He was a great scout in his own right, but never passed up the opportunity to learn new tricks from old turbo-foxes. He was Jazz's protégé and never disappointed his teacher by failing to thoroughly learn a lesson.

Ol' Dino would be a whole other bucket of glitch-mice, though.

Optimus's eyes were on Sideswipe again. "How is Colonel Lennox?"

He gave a shrug, feeling that guilt course through his circuits again. "Doc Thomas gave him some medication that knocked him out. He's not feeling anything at the moment."

"Hm. Unfortunate timing." Optimus looked back to Hound and then glanced at Bluestreak with a gentle smile. "I had hoped for you all to meet him."

Sideswipe cut the apology off at his vocalizer. He had screwed up and coming up with some lame excuse to Prime about it certainly wasn't going to fix it. Still, Optimus glanced back at Sideswipe with a knowing understanding in his optics. It was almost like he could feel the remorse radiating from Sideswipe's frame.

During the conversation, Bluestreak had curled up on his chair, optics dimming as he pulled his knees closer and huddled into the firm, specially-made padding of the chair. Hound looked over at his young charge. "Okay?"

The blue helm nodded back and forth, but there were no words.

"Are you tired?"

There was a shrug, but still no verbal response.

"You're all probably in need of rest." Optimus stood from behind his desk. He looked to Sideswipe. "I have offered the berths in Gamma Barrack."

Irritation welled in Sideswipe. Gamma was the barrack he shared with Jolt and Bumblebee. Sideswipe had angled hard for those quarters. It made it much easier to slip out for a drive over the hard-packed sand whenever he and his comrades felt like it. They had made it their own, even cobbled out their own little common area in the middle of the barrack to hang out away from the others and listen to human music or just talk.

However, that rational side of him (inarguably small), pointed out that Prime's reasoning was sound. Jolt, along with Dino, was on a mission in Canada that was slated to last another three weeks. And Bumblebee had taken up his role as Sam's guardian once more, spending most of his time protecting the young man and his fiancé, Carly. He came back to the base occasionally, bringing the humans to visit and to report to Prime. He rarely used his berth these days. And the fourth berth in there . . . well no one was using that one. Not yet, anyway.

To his credit, Optimus had predicted Sideswipe's reaction and simply given him the time to work through his feelings on his own. With a nod, Sideswipe acknowledged. "Understood, Prime."

"As soon as Prowl returns-"

As if on cue, the door opened again and a white and black mech stepped into the florescent lighting of the hangar. Sideswipe heard himself exvent, "Uh-oh."

This was not gonna be good. He knew it. Already, he was going on the defensive.

It was another Praxian, probably about Sideswipe's age, though it was hard to tell. He walked tall and confidently, covering the span of the hangar with long strides. The red chevron on his helm jutted toward the sky sharply. Hard blue optics stared forward out of his smooth, expressionless face. The letters on his doorwings spelled out 'Police'. Only one type of mech he could think of would pick such an alt-mode.

"Primus, you're an Enforcer."

The mech simply approached, completely unperturbed by Sideswipe's blunt and slightly disgusted observation. "Is that a problem?"

"Not yet. But I foresee certain points of contention."

"That's unfortunate." Prowl replied flatly before looking to Optimus. "The defenses of this base are inadequate, sir."

"Well, we haven't been jumped by 'Cons, boogeymen, or La Chupacabra." Sideswipe sneered back, feeling a little vindicated that his initial conclusion-jump was actually proving itself correct. How dare this guy presume to come in here and pick them apart? "Maybe you're too damned jumpy."

Prowl pinned him with a cold glare, but didn't get a chance to retaliate.

"Sideswipe." There was a low warning growl in Optimus's voice. Sideswipe looked to his commander who had narrowed his optics. He gave a glance to Hound, half expecting the old mech to be glaring, too. He wasn't. The corners of his mouth-plates twitched, but his expression was neutral otherwise.

His tone was more controlled when he spoke again. "I'm just saying . . . we've got it under control."

"Under control?" Prowl replied, voice dangerously soft. "I'm not risking lives on your disillusionment."

"You've been here ten fraggin' minutes." Sideswipe's temper was climbing despite his best efforts to control it. "What the hell do you know?"

"Sideswipe!"

Bluestreak's optics were bright again, listening to the argument around him. He slid off the chair and with the gentle click of his pedes on the metal floor, he skirted Sideswipe to go to the mech. Prowl put a hand on Bluestreak's helm as the youngling wrapped his arms around his leg and hid his face against the elder's hip.

Whatever fight Sideswipe might have been inclined to pick fizzled. If his first impression instincts were correct, Prowl had a rod crammed so far up his tailpipe Sideswipe wondered if he could actually transform. But there would be time to screw with him and prove him wrong later. Tonight wasn't the night for that.

Feeling slightly ashamed, Sideswipe ducked his head, refusing to meet Optimus's gaze. Giving an exvent, he hoped the Prime would read his body language and realize he was relenting the argument . . . for the moment. He could feel Optimus's optics on him as the leader spoke. "It's late. Prowl, I would be glad to hear any suggestions you might have on improving our security."

"Thank you, sir." Prowl glared back at Sideswipe. Pissed as he was, Sideswipe had to admit he was impressed to see no trace of smugness in the look. Just pure, unadulterated malice. He could respect that.

Optimus rounded the desk, giving Sideswipe a look that promised a plate-chewing later and moved to where Prowl was detaching Bluestreak and crouching down to speak with the youngling. Whatever was said, Sideswipe couldn't pick up.

He moved closer to Hound. The other mech was still unreadable. "I'll walk over to the barrack with you."

"Much obliged."

"No problem." Sideswipe set a slower pace. The green mech had a slight limp, but tried to hide it as they moved toward the exit. He could hear Prime's voice behind them as he talked with the Enforcer. Gritting his teeth, he tried to shut them out as they left the barracks.

The layout of the new base was fairly well thought out. To his left sat one of the barracks used to house the rest of the Cybertronians. It was the one that Ratchet shared with Dino. Sideswipe wasn't entirely sure how that arrangement was actually working out. Dino was okay, but he wasn't overly-fond of the humans. He was fairly full of himself. Somehow, he and the medic seemed to get along, but that had a lot to do with the fact that Dino was out on patrol or missions more often than not and Ratchet practically existed in the medbay. If the two of them spent any appreciable amount of time together in their quarters, Sideswipe suspected the sheer volume of ego would blow the roof right off of the sizeable building.

The wreckers resided in the barracks beyond that, not too far from Epps's small house. They called it 'The Junkyard'. With the three of them rattling around in it, Sideswipe was fairly certain the name was an apt one at this point. Music and voices were often heard until the wee hours of the morning, until Ratchet or Epps marched themselves over there to tell them to turn it the slag down.

"Pretty planet."

"Huh?" Sideswipe had been lost in his own thoughts as he walked beside Hound.

The mech chuckled. "I said it's a pretty planet."

"It's a lot different than Cybertron." Sideswipe told him. "But once you get used to it, it's not bad."

They had reached Gamma Barracks. It wasn't much to look at from the outside, but after years of rattling around the galaxy, Sideswipe was just glad to have a permanent structure to bed down in. He opened the door and let Hound in. The mech followed and gave a low whistle. "Not bad."

The barrack was lower-ceilinged than the hangars. It was sparse, but four berths lined the walls. The padding was something Lennox had procured for them, made of a sturdy memory-foam material that supported and cushioned a Cybertronian in root-mode in real comfort. There were even Cybertronain wash racks in the rear. They were small, but it beat the Pit out of getting hosed down on the lawn with cold water.

In the center were a couple of mats, a second hand human dining table, and something squashy that Annabelle referred to as the 'hugest bean-bag chair ever'. It was something Epps had fashioned for them out of a half-dozen old canvas tarps.

Hound had stopped beside the table, looking at the human stereo system situated on it. "What's this?"

"The Gamma Barrack Common Room." Sideswipe plopped down in the tarp-chair. "Jolt, Bee, and I hang out here. We _did_, anyway."

"Where are they?" Hound settled on one of the mats and watched as Prowl and Optimus followed them in. Bluestreak was still clutching the larger Praxian's servo.

"Missions." Sideswipe said simply. "Jolt will be back in a few weeks, so we'll have to figure something else out then. But for now, _mi casa, es su casa._"

"What?"

"You're welcome to crash here." Sideswipe grinned. "And it might be a good idea to have Ratchet upload the Spanish data package to your processor as well."

"I'll think about it."

Sideswipe ran out of things to say to the older mech. Instead, he looked over to where Prowl was still talking to Prime. Already, he could feel his processor shifting over to its more devious settings. He had known mechs like Prowl. Enforcers were, to borrow from the local vernacular, pricks. The Holier-Than-Thou attitudes rubbed Sideswipe the wrong way, they always had. Not to mention a good many of them had hopped on the Decepticon bandwagon early on. It seemed every one of them craved discipline and order and insisted that every other mech march to the same tune. Enforcers were devoted authoritarians, intent on making every one toe the line.

And Sideswipe didn't roll like that. Never had.

"He's a good mech."

For the second time, Sideswipe responded to Hound with a "Huh?" The bot shook his head and said low. "Look, I know what you're thinkin'. A mech like you has probably had more than one run in with Enforcers."

Heh. Major understatement.

"But Prowl's the reason that youngling is here. And me. He's saved us both." Hound toyed with one of the wires to the stereo. "He's risked his own spark several times to keep us safe. It's been a long journey to get here."

Sideswipe wanted to ask for details, but didn't think Hound would be forthcoming. He snorted ruefully, instead. "It's been a long trip for all of us."

"I know that," Hound said gently. "And my hope is that Prowl will find some mechs here that understand what he's been through."

Sideswipe looked at the older mech suspiciously, but further conversation was forestalled by the approach of Optimus, Prowl, and Bluestreak. Prowl looked down at Sideswipe. "Are there certain berths we should utilize?"

"I usually power down on the one closest to the entrance." Sideswipe replied, trying not to be irritated just looking at the Enforcer. "I'm on-call for the colonel and it's just easier to slip out from there and not bother anyone."

"Understood." With that, Prowl walked to the other side of the barrack. Bluestreak trotted after him. Sideswipe watched as the mech reached down and hoisted the youngling onto the berth that Bumblebee had claimed. It took some encouragement on Prowl's part, but Bluestreak stretched out on his front, settling into the padding. In under a minute, those optics were dimming again as Bluestreak succumbed to the form-contouring material hugging his body.

"_Epps to Sideswipe."_

The voice in his com made him jump a little, but he rolled his eyes at Hound's snicker and responded. _"_Sideswipe. Go ahead_."_

"_Is Lennox with you?"_

Sideswipe sat up straighter on his beanbag chair. "Come again_?"_

"_Is . . . Lennox . . . with. . . . you?"_

"No, and stop talking at me like I'm the one who's three-quarters stupid, here." Sideswipe snapped back, his alarm growing. "Crap, Epps! Did you lose him?"

"_I did not lose him." _Epps replied hotly. _"I went to check on him, and he's not in the medbay."_

"How did you lose him? He was comatose, wasn't he?"Sideswipe exvented. "I'm coming. Sideswipe out."

"Stupid, glitch-headed . . ." Sideswipe grumbled as he heaved himself up. "I'm gone fifteen fraggin' minutes."

"Lennox?" Hound's expression was somewhere between humor and bemusement. "Isn't that the human commander?"

"Yes." Sideswipe growled. He noted that Prowl was still seated next to Bluestreak on the berth, but apparently eavesdropping on the conversation. "Look, make yourselves at home. I gotta go. Prime?"

He was well aware that he was due a reprimand from his performance in the office hangars, but Lennox was a priority. For a wild moment, Sideswipe toyed with the processor thread that Prowl had been right and infiltration of the base had led to Lennox's kidnapping. He powered that scrap right down. It was already becoming apparent that Prowl was paranoid enough for the whole flippin' base. Sideswipe didn't need to feed into it.

"I'll go with you." Optimus turned to the two adult mechs. Bluestreak was down for the count, doorwings drooped over his small frame. "If you need anything, you have our com frequencies. Don't hesitate to use them."

Sideswipe waited until they were out of audio-shot to ask. "Have they got my com frequencies?"

"Yes." Prime's voice was edged steel as he added. "And you better be nice."

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><p><em>Stay tuned . . .<em>


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's note: **Sorry about the confusion . . . the only description I can come up for for this is a multi-chapter one-shot. It is done, though, except for the epilogue, so I'll be giving you a chapter every day or two._

_Disclaimer still stands._

* * *

><p>"I really can't believe you lost him." Sideswipe stood looking at Thomas and Epps as the two men reentered the main hangar.<p>

Epps ignored him, speaking instead to the human medic. "I checked the house. He's not there."

"I've been all through this place." Thomas replied. "No sign of him."

Ratchet's form materialized from the darkness, stepping into the lights of the main hangar. "Not in my quarters or the Junkyard."

"Biological sensors outside came up with zilch." Sideswipe put in. He let that paranoia manifest itself in his circuits again. "You don't think he's been kidnapped?"

Epps gave him an incredulous look. "We've got the best defense network known to human-kind set up around this place."

"More than likely, the colonel woke up disoriented and wandered off." Thomas spoke up. "It's not unheard of."

"Did you guys fall asleep? Or let him walk past you?" Sideswipe was getting irritated now.

Epps was matching him, though. "Don't get bitchy with me. Doped or not, if Lennox hadn't made it with the Rangers, he coulda been a freakin' ninja."

Sideswipe couldn't argue that point. Despite being an All-American good guy, the colonel was a slick guy. He could out-maneuver and out-think just about anyone, human or Cybertronian. It was one of Lennox's attributes that made Sideswipe admire him early on. He understood.

Even still, "So, as we speak, he could be out in the middle of the desert being eaten by coyotes?"

"I doubt it." Nothing ever ruffled Thomas. Even big, paranoid mother-hens. "I don't think he could walk that far."

"Could he have taken one of the Humvees?" Ratchet asked, concerned.

"While he's high?" Epps replied. "I think we'd have heard about that from someone by now."

There was the rush of a powerful engine and Optimus's alt-mode rolled into the hangar through the large bay doors. With the release of his airbrakes, the Autobot commander stopped and began to transform. After a couple of seconds, Prime stood tall, a slightly concerned look on his plates.

"No luck, Boss Bot?" Epps asked.

"No." Prime answered. "Where haven't we searched?"

"We could go door-to-door. But I doubt that would make us popular with the base staff." Ratchet looked to Sideswipe. "You scanned for his biological signature everywhere?"

"Everywhere. Except in here."

"Why not in here?"

"Because Epps and Thomas were searching in here." Sideswipe came back snippily.

"But we're not equipped with biological sensors." Thomas came back. "Especially ones completely attuned to Colonel Lennox."

"Yeah, we like him and all." Epps was looking at him, amused. "But we ain't his babysitter."

"Or his mother."

Sideswipe gave both of the smirking humans a glare. He declined to dignify their teasing with comment and simply redirected energy to his biosensors. They immediately hit on Lennox's familiar vital signs. The colonel was right behind them.

The mech turned and looked to where his sensors were directing him. The only thing there was the Autobot couch and the smaller version for the humans. It was fairly obvious Lennox wasn't on the human couch.

With two strides, Sideswipe crossed the room and looked over the back of the piece of furniture. There was a gray ball curled up in the very corner. Lennox had covered himself with a blanket and tucked himself as far into the foam as he could. Sideswipe, Ratchet, and Prime had been past this thing at least three times apiece and completely missed him.

Thomas and Epps had come around to the front of the couch and were looking up. The sergeant put his hands on his hips and looked up at him. "Okay, how the hell did he get up there?"

There were no ladders or any way for humans to get up on the couch without bot assistance. The arms and padding were completely smooth. There were no handholds and never mind his injured hand. But somehow, Lennox had managed. Sideswipe wondered if he had spontaneously evolved the ability to fly.

Optimus's steps shook the ground as he moved up beside Sideswipe. "Perhaps it is the primate heritage."

"Well, get the Monkey Man down from there." Thomas sighed heavily with annoyed amusement. "If he wakes up and decides to go for a walk again, that first step is a doozy."

With gentle motions, Sideswipe reached down and rolled the human into his palm. The blanket went too, tangling the man's limbs. Lennox barely stirred as the mech straightened and took two steps back towards medbay.

Then he woke up. And not groggily and steadily like he usually did. Lennox's eyes flew open. Sideswipe's best guess was that the blanket wrapped around him felt like restraints, making him believe he was trapped. With a war-cry, he rolled over in Sideswipe's palm, flailing and swearing.

Startled, Sideswipe bent over, trying to predict the human's erratic movements to keep his servos under him. It was not unlike Annabelle playing with her pet hamster. She always put her little hands one in front of the other to let the creature run over them, careful not to drop him. She was usually giggling. Trying the same thing with her father, Sideswipe was hyperventilating.

Lennox wasn't winning the war with the blanket. It was wrapped around his leg and he rolled dangerously close to the edge of Sideswipe's hands. Sideswipe's mind flew back to the time Morty had hit the kitchen floor. He had been able to hear Annabelle crying and Sarah trying to catch the thing as she consoled her offspring.

Ten feet up, he doubted Will would be as lucky as the rodent.

Quickly, Sideswipe searched for anything closer to the ground to deposit the colonel on. The human couch was right beside him. Kneeling swiftly, he dropped Will on his back, blanket and all, on the sofa cushions. Breathing hard, he batted away the blanket with his good hand before Thomas put hands on his shoulder and called to him. "Will, wake up! You're having a bad dream."

It hadn't occurred to Sideswipe that the man wasn't fully conscious. It was strange to watch as the human's eyes went from blank and staring to alert. Maybe 'alert' was the wrong word. 'Semi-more aware' might have been a better description.

Will shook his head trying to clear it. "Vacuum cleaners."

Optimus canted his head, looking at the man. "Excuse me?"

"That nightmare. I was being attacked by vacuum cleaners." Will took a deep breath. "They were everywhere. I was able to escape with my cat-like agility."

For a few seconds, everyone was quiet. Then, a thought struck Sideswipe. "I should be offended, right? Am I the vacuum cleaner?"

In a rare show of humor, Optimus said with a slight, reassuring smile. "I'm sure they were Decepticon vacuum cleaners."

Ratchet snorted as Thomas spoke up. "Chalk it up to the drugs. Though Freud would probably have a field day with that dream analysis."

"Geez, Doc." Will rubbed his good hand over his eyes. "What the hell did you give me?"

"A small dose of Percocet, you lightweight." Thomas said back. "Does your hand hurt?"

"What hand?"

"For the love of. . ." Epps started before shaking his head and saying jokingly. "Boss, I'm losing respect for you, here."

"Sideswipe."

"Yeah?"

"Slam Epps hand in your door." Lennox gave the silver mech a mock-glare. "That's an order."

"Damn, you're a cranky patient," Epps said, nonchalant, leaning on the couch back. "You want me to carry you back to medbay, sweetheart?"

"This isn't the submarine service. Don't call me, 'sweetheart'."

Epps laughed out loud. "Seriously, man. You need a hand?"

"I'm fine here." Will waved his friend away, his eyelids already drooping again. "It won't be the first time I slept it off on a couch."

And with that, he was unconscious again.

Sideswipe rolled his optics and shook his helm. Humans.

Taking the stethoscope from around his neck, Thomas leaned in to check the colonel's heart. Of course, Sideswipe could have told him it had been beating pretty fast but was quickly slowing down again.

Now that their ally was accounted for, conversation rolled back around to the refugees. Ratchet looked to Optimus. "How are our guests?"

"Settling in for the night." The Autobot commander replied. "The youngest still seems dazed."

"Can't imagine why." Ratchet replied. "He's the youngest Cybertronian I've seen since before the war. It is possible that this is the first time in his life he doesn't have to be afraid. His whole life has been nothing but violence."

"Is Prowl his caretaker?" Sideswipe asked.

"No." Optimus answered. "According to him, he found the mechling just outside of Kaon after the loss of the AllSpark. Prowl has been unable to determine what became of Bluestreak's caretaker."

Sideswipe's spark-pulse skipped a bit. He remembered back to the days when he and his brother had been brought online by the AllSpark. A mech named Jumpstart had been assigned as their guardian. Spark-split twins were a challenge, but the mech handled them with practiced ease. As much as they tried, they were never able to get anything passed the broad orange mech. Some of the scrap they pulled would have driven a lesser mech to distraction. His love for his charges never lessened.

When Sideswipe found his empty protoform buried in the rubble of Polyhex, he had felt something in him nearly break. He understood what the kid was going through.

"Kaon?" Ratchet spoke up, looking concerned. "The Decepticon capital?"

"My thoughts exactly." Optimus told his CMO. "I shudder to think what Bluestreak has endured."

"Does he speak?" Sideswipe asked quietly.

"To Prowl or Hound." Optimus replied. "Given time, I believe that he will open up to the rest of us. . . once he realizes he is safe here."

Epps and Thomas had been standing near the couch where Lennox snored lightly. It was the sergeant who spoke up. "Do you know these guys?"

"Hound was a scout very early on in the war." Optimus looked down at him, offering a slight smile. "Despite the looks of him, he is a very talented spy."

"What about the other one?" Thomas asked, "Prowl?"

"I had not met him before today."

"He's a pain in the aft." Sideswipe expected the heated glare Optimus pinned him with.

Ratchet spoke as Optimus continued to try and bore holes into Sideswipe's plates with his optics. "He was an Enforcer on Cybertron, equivalent to a police officer here on Earth."

"Hound knows little about him, despite their time together." Optimus replied. "However, Prowl has earned Hound's confidence. I trust his judgment."

Sideswipe muted his vocalizer. Prime was pretty good at placing his trust in the right mechs . . . people . . . organisms. But to simply go on a word from a mech he hadn't seen in centuries seemed a little brash.

Optimus moved on, setting the patrols for the evening. "Ratchet and Sideswipe: base guard duty. Supplement the human guards and the security net with hourly perimeter patrols."

"Understood." Ratchet replied.

"I'm going to patrol with the Wreckers this evening."

Ratchet's optic ridge rose slightly. "You're supposed to be off-duty."

"I'm aware." Optimus replied with a gentle tone. "But extra sensors on the shift couldn't hurt."

Sideswipe frowned and crossed his arms. He saw this for what it was. "He got to you, didn't he? That Enforcer? He's got you second-guessing everything now."

There was a hint of forced patience in the Prime's response. "Prowl pointed out areas that might need improvement, yes. But my choice to patrol tonight has more to do with needing time to process as opposed to feeling that our defenses are inadequate."

Sideswipe wasn't buying it, not fully. Prime hitting the road had a lot to do with doubts Prowl had planted in his mind. And the fact that there was now a youngling recharging in Gamma Barrack increased that doubt exponentially to near paranoid proportions. Sideswipe had co-existed long enough with Optimus to understand Prime coding. He was programmed to protect, pure and simple.

And he was glaring at Sideswipe again. The mech relented. "All right, all right. I get it."

As the Prime departed, Sideswipe went with Ratchet to the security center. The large bank of monitors gave them footage of the entire base. Sideswipe scanned them quickly. Except for those on-duty, most of the human base staff had retired to their domiciles for the evening. There were a few nocturnal creatures rousting themselves. Other than that, as usual, everything was quiet.

"Glitched freak." Sideswipe muttered, but not quite quietly enough for Ratchet not to hear.

"I suppose you speak of our new Enforcer?"

"You suppose right." Sideswipe replied. "Does Optimus really expect us all to get along like some big happy family?"

Ratchet moved his gaze to the monitor beside the surveillance equipment. The life-signals of Optimus and the three Wreckers pulsed strongly on the display, showing them rolling down past the guard gate and splitting after moving through. Topspin accompanied their leader to the end of the military's property before turning south. Optimus signal tracked north. "I suppose he does."

Sideswipe watched his commander's signal for a moment before huffing, "Slagger."

"_Hi Sides!"_

"Jiminy Flippin' Christmas!" The enthusiastic screech of Annabelle Lennox's voice in his com immediately triggered the codes to his 'anti-swear word' programming. Beside him, Ratchet sputtered through his vents, beginning to chuckle.

He left the line open, allowing Ratchet to listen in. The com was for emergencies only, but if Annabelle was on it, it wasn't too urgent. "Hey, Bit. What's up?"

"_We're calling to say 'Hi'!"_

Predictably, a familiar voice asked for the handheld device before Sarah spoke up, laughter in her tone. "_Sorry, Sides. I couldn't resist."_

As happy as he was to hear the voices of his charges, Sideswipe had an inkling of where this was going. Fortunately, Thomas had heard the com and was already walking towards him, leaving Epps with Will. "No problem. What's up?_"_

"_I tried to call Will." _Sarah started, her voice a little lighter than normal. "_But his phone keeps going to voicemail. Did you guys make it home okay?"_

Had it been anyone else, he would have played the word game. Technically, yes they had. It was only after Sideswipe had gotten Will back to base that he had tried to dismember him. But it was Sarah. Not only would she see right through him anyway, but he couldn't bring himself to mislead her.

Thomas saw him floundering and mercifully stepped in to help him. "Sarah, it's Captain Thomas."

"_Oh god, what happened?"_

"He's all right. He's fine." Sideswipe thanked his lucky stars that the medic had the foresight to reassure her quickly. The mech had thought about asking Sarah to send Annabelle from the room or take the com off of the speaker setting, but the little girl was no idiot. She'd put it together that something was wrong. "Will just got his hand caught in Sideswipe's door. It's a bad cut and two broken bones, but he's fine."

There was a deep sigh. _"You scared me."_

Primus, friggit. There was that guilt again. This time, there was no stopping the apology. "Sarah, I'm sorry."

There was moment of quiet before Sarah came back. _"You didn't do it on purpose, did you?"_

"No!" Sideswipe shouted back indignantly. "I would never-!"

"_Then," _the woman replied, cutting him off with a laugh, "_it's okay. You've put enough 'Saving Lennox Tail' points in the bank to cover one mistake."_

"_Dad's okay, right?" _Sideswipe felt his tank churn at Annabelle's small voice.

"_He's fine." _Sideswipe could see Sarah snuggling the little girl close and reassuring her. "_Just an accident."_

"_Can I talk to him?"_

"I'd like to let you, Annie." Thomas spoke up again. "But he's sleeping. The medicine I gave him zonked him out."

Sarah spoke again, acutely interested. _"What did you give him?"_

"Just a little Percocet."

There was silence on the com for a moment before Sarah came back drolly, "_How's that working out for you?"_

"Oddly enough I was just about to ask you about that." Thomas spoke up with a knowing tone. "There's nothing in his file about any bad reactions to medications. He doesn't have any, does he?"

"_Nothing serious_." Sarah's voice held a tone of amusement. "_He just tends to get a little . . . random. . . .on certain painkillers_."

"Like waking up from a dead sleep and finding new, fun places to hibernate?" Sideswipe left out the climbing onto the couch part. "Or how about dream death-matches with vacuum cleaners?"

"_Oh, Sides_," there was a hint of sympathy in the tone of Team Lennox's alpha female, "_that's the tip of the iceberg_."

"It's going to be a long night." Ratchet grumbled before speaking up. "Exactly how 'random' are we talking here, Mrs. Lennox?"

"_Weeeellll," _Sarah started with the air of someone not wanting to reveal bad news . . . or at least pretending to be compassionate about the situation of her husband's current custodians. "_The day he got his wisdom teeth removed we ended up in the Waffle House parking lot at 2 a.m. with him on the hood of the car singing show tunes."_

Sideswipe looked at Ratchet for a second before breaking out in barely restrained laughter. "Primus, you're kidding."

"_I am not." _Sarah replied over Annabelle's giggles. "_For whatever reason, his body fights it, but he can't cope with all of the effects. He wanders and he says the funniest sh- . . . stuff." _Sarah's anti-swear word programming kicked in just in time.

"Oh fabulous." Thomas spoke up. "He's one of those."

"_Do you want us to come back tonight?" _Sarah asked. "_I can handle him."_

"He was pretty explicit." Thomas replied. "He didn't want you driving back this late at night. We'll take care of him."

"_You sure?"_

"There's two sets of eyes and two sets of optics on him right now." Sideswipe replied. "And it's after eleven. You wouldn't get home before tomorrow anyway."

"_You'll watch Dad, Sides?"_

His spark warmed at the Annabelle's voice. He thought for sure that the girl would be at least a little upset that her metal alien friend had hurt her father. In retrospect, he probably should have known better. "You got it, Bit."

Sarah was back on the line. _"Sides? Can you do me a favor?"_

"Anything."

"_Take video. He doesn't believe me about the Waffle House."_

Sideswipe snorted, glancing merrily at Ratchet as he did so. The medic shook his head. "You got it, Boss Lady."

"_We'll be home tomorrow." _Sarah assured them.

"Safe trip, ladies."

And with that he signed off. Looking from the mech medic to the human one, Sideswipe shrugged. "So should we fit him with a GPS collar or what?"

* * *

><p><em>And the whole vacuum cleaner thing is inspired by actual events. I'm not kidding . . . <em>


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Note:**__ Thanks for the love for this silliness. Reviews are killing me! You guys are great, so I give you something short before heading to work. This is not the Prowl/Lennox exchange that has been alluded to. That's in the next installment. _

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><p>The base team settled into their evening duties. Thomas's shift was ending. He offered to stay and watch Will, but Epps and Sideswipe assured them that they had the colonel well in-hand. Sideswipe had his biosensors on their charge. Should any of Will's vitals change, they would page Thomas immediately.<p>

The colonel had been quiet for a couple of hours now. They had left him on the couch like he wanted, making it easier for Epps and Sideswipe to watch him from their stations in front of the TV. Occasionally, Will would mutter and roll around a bit. But it was brief and he would settle back down almost instantly.

Every hour, Sideswipe or Ratchet would take a quiet turn around the base's perimeter, sensors wide and searching for any sign of trouble. It was, of course, quiet. The most activity Sideswipe had caught was that feline of the Marshalls' leaking lubricants in Epps's front yard. He continued on, however, following through on Prime's orders conscientiously, no matter how ludicrous he thought them to be.

In between patrols, he was seated on the Autobot couch watching some cheap horror flick. Since Will had usurped the human sofa, Epps had accepted his invitation to make himself comfortable on the other end of Cybertronian couch. The sergeant had propped himself up against the opposite arm, legs stretched out towards Sideswipe. Having had a full human day himself, Epps was soon dozing lightly. Sideswipe had thought about just telling the human to go to his quarters, but the fact was if Will started wandering again, Sideswipe was too big to tail him everywhere. He would have to wake Epps if Lennox became mobile.

Ratchet gave him a wave to get his attention before quietly leaving the hangar to transform for his patrol. Sideswipe gave him a nod before readjusting his sensors on Lennox and looking back to the television. Some crazy woman was running through the misty woods, gasping and screaming as she was pursued by a guy who transformed to a wolf-man by the light of the full moon.

He was just wondering where humans came up with this stuff when the door to the hangar opened again and Prowl's winged frame slid through. Mentally checking his exvent, Sideswipe turned back to the television.

Prowl made almost no noise as he approached, walking directly towards him. "It's very quiet."

"Everyone's out." Sideswipe replied, not looking up from the screen. "Patrol."

"Except you?"

Sideswipe caught the tone. Or perhaps imagined it, though he wouldn't admit it. "I'm monitoring Colonel Lennox."

Prowl's gaze flicked over to where Lennox was still passed out on the couch. His optics cast a faint blue glow over him in the low-light of the hangar's nighttime settings. "A human?"

Now that he wasn't making up. Prowl definitely just used the word 'human' in a way that a lot of mechs would say 'drone'. He didn't like it, but checked his temper marginally. "Don't worry, there's enough optics on this place."

"Is someone patrolling the grounds?"

"Do you, or do you not see the serious lack of medic here?" Sideswipe kept his vocalizer low, unwilling to disturb either Epps or Lennox. "We've been patrolling every hour. I'm keeping one optic on the security cameras."

"With one optic on the television and one optic on the human, I don't see how you have an optic to spare."

"Just don't you never-mind about my multi-tasking abilities." Sideswipe threw out as many unfamiliar words as he could, knowing Prowl's language data pack was still integrating into his systems. "And besides, you've got everything sufficiently riled up. Prime is even out patrolling on his off-shift."

When he didn't get a response immediately, Sideswipe looked over his shoulder at the other mech. Prowl was frowning slightly. "That's not what I intended."

"Yeah, well." Sideswipe growled as he turned back to the television. "It's what you got."

Sideswipe had made all the point he had intended to. He had hoped Prowl would take the hint and leave. No such luck. "How is weakening himself by skipping recharge going to benefit security?"

"You Praxian twit." Sideswipe turned just in time to see those doorwings hitch up indignantly at the insult. "He is out there because you were bitching about security. And now you're going to bitch because he's doing something about it?"

"I was merely pointing out holes in the defense with the intent of rectifying the problems at the earliest convenience." Prowl replied through gritted dente. "I never intended for him to take the responsibility on himself."

Sideswipe snorted. "You've got a lot to learn about Primes."

Prowl was silent for a few seconds before he moved around to stand beside the television. "I know what it is like to be responsible for the lives of others."

"Look," Sideswipe started, "I get it. You have been keeping that old mech and that kid alive. You've probably bounced all over the galaxy, just trying to stay one step ahead of the 'cons. But I'm telling you, you're no match for Prime in the overprotectiveness department. You're not even in the same zip code."

"I fail to see what you would know about it." Prowl's optics narrowed dangerously. "From what I've observed, you have never been in such a position."

"What in the Pit does it look like I'm doing here?" Sideswipe asked. "I just told you I was monitoring Lennox."

"It looks like you're watching television."

"That's just what I want you to think."

Prowl looked over at Lennox again. "What happened to its appendage?"

Sideswipe noted the use of the term 'it' and felt his temper hedge into the mercurial range. However, he just jutted his chin out and confessed with an air of matter-of-factness. "I shut his hand in my car door."

"Oh yes, well." Prowl rolled his optics. "I can see how you would perfectly understand my role as a guardian. Tell me, do your charges survive?"

"Primus, I bet you never make mistakes, do you?" Sideswipe sneered at him. "They drill that into you at the Enforcer Academy, don't they?"

"You're absurd."

"You have no idea." Sideswipe looked over to the smaller sofa to see Will staring back at him. "'Absurd' is Sideswipe's middle name."

"I don't even have a last name." Sideswipe pointed out. Will's vitals were slow, but still within the bounds of normal.

Will made a "pfft," sound. "Details, Sides, details."

Sideswipe watched the human as he took in Prowl's form standing stiffly beside the television. For a few seconds, he thought Will had drifted back off again, but finally he asked. "You one of the new Bots?"

"Yes." Prowl replied slowly, watching Will shrewdly.

"Desgnation?"

"Prowl."

"Hm. Good to meet you, Prowl." Will lulled his head back on the armrest.

"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance as well." The Praxian returned politely.

"Just want you to know . . ." Will was cut off by a yawn. His eyes shut, but popped back open. He looked confused.

"You would like me to know . . . what?"

"Huh? Oh." It was almost like the gears started turning again in Will's head. "Just want you to know . . ."

The meds were catching up with Will again. He slumped down into the cushions.

"Yes?" Prowl prompted impatiently.

Sideswipe was just about to tell him to 'frag off' when Will muttered. "I know twenty-five ways to kill a man with a stapler."

Sideswipe snorted a laugh as Will fell soundly asleep again.

Prowl just stood there, staring at the man. The smooth face was unreadable, but his optics burned brightly as he glared at Will. The irritation bleeding off of him was almost palpable.

After nearly a full minute, he walked in front of the television. "I'm going to take a look around."

"Knock yourself out." Sideswipe returned, not looking up as the mech stalked away.

It wasn't until the door closed behind him that Epps spoke up, clearly awakened at some point by the mechs arguing. "Dude is wound a little tight."

"You think?" Sideswipe retorted.

After glancing over at Will, Epps settled back down on the couch. "Tell me you got that on tape for Sarah."

"Absolutely."


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Note: **FYI, you guys were supposed to get this YESTERDAY- a certain website for fan-based fic had a hissy fit._

_Great jumpin' jellybeans, I sure hope this holds up to the hype. . . _

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><p>Things really came to a head at about 3 a.m. as Sideswipe was completing his patrol shift.<p>

"_Ratchet to Sideswipe." _The medic sounded irritated as Sideswipe eased his alt-mode around the curve of the road following the perimeter fence.

"Go ahead, Ratchet."

"_Your human is awake."_

Sideswipe chuckled at the annoyance in the medic's tone and couldn't resist harassing him a bit. "Oh I see. He's my human when he's doing something bad."

"_Just get your aft back here." _Ratchet growled. _"He's pacing around like a caged animal."_

Concern blossomed through his circuits. "Pacing?"

"_Yes, pacing." _Ratchet snapped. _"He won't let Epps anywhere near him and he keeps muttering something about supplies."_

"I'm on my way. Sideswipe out." Sand sprayed from beneath his tires as he accelerated. Within a minute, he was rolling up to the back of the hangar and transforming. He pulled the back door open and was immediately greeted by Will stomping in his bare feet and marching right underneath him.

Sideswipe tried to turn and see where he was going but without moving his pedes for fear of stepping on the human. As he looked, Will stalked over to the office hangar and yanked open the human door, disappearing inside.

"You let him out!" Epps shot between Sideswipe's feet as well. When he was sure he was clear, Sideswipe turned and hurried after the pair, using the Cybertronian door to let himself in.

Will was moving with surprisingly swift and sure steps, climbing the stairs that led to his own office. Epps had caught up, watching his CO carefully to make sure he didn't fall and give himself that head injury they had been predicting all night.

The colonel turned into his office and fumbled for the lights. Within seconds, there was a flurry of paper flying through the air as Will attacked his desk with his uninjured hand and Sideswipe watched his charge carefully, once again monitoring his vitals. They were slightly elevated, but well within normal ranges. "Seriously, Boss. Maybe you should sit down."

"Get me the cop car."

"Prowl?"

"Yeah, that one."

Sideswipe turned an optic to Epps. At this point, the man seemed at a loss. He simply shrugged helplessly.

_Eh, what the hell_. _This could be fun._ Sideswipe activated his com. "Sideswipe to Prowl."

That flat voice came back immediately. "_Prowl here."_

"Colonel Lennox would like to see you in the office hangar."

Apparently, the earlier encounter between the Praxian and the human had left a lasting impression. When Prowl spoke again, his tone was dripping with disdain "_Is it urgent?"_

Sideswipe took a certain amount of glee in reminding the bot, "He's a ranking member of the United States Military. If he says it's important, it's important."

"_Did he actually say that?"_

Sideswipe muted his com. "It's important, right?"

"Kinda."

Close enough. Sideswipe unmuted the com. "It's urgent."

There was an uncertain pause. _"I'm on my way."_

In the meantime, Sideswipe watched Will continue to search for something, knocking over his inbox and sending highlighters rolling across the floor. He tried asking what the colonel was looking for, but Will just shushed him loudly and continued to rummage.

Within a few minutes, the door opened again and Prowl appeared, moving smoothly up to the catwalk. His optics narrowed suspiciously at Sideswipe who merely gave him a "What?" look back in exchange. He hadn't done anything. Lennox had wanted to talk to him. Never mind that he was off his fraggin' rocker at the moment.

Will stopped fumbling for a second, noticing the white and black mech standing before him. "Okay, Stalker . . . Skulker . . . Creepy. What the hell is your name again?"

Sideswipe tried not to snicker as the tactician crossed his arms. "My designation is 'Prowl'."

"Right, Paul."

"Prowl."

"That's what I said."

"That is not," Prowl replied, with clearly thinning patience, "what you said."

"Don't you get uppity with me, Paul." Will stumbled behind the desk, falling into his chair. "I run this ship."

"We're not on a ship. We're on dry land."

"Exactly."

The incongruous conversation was playing merry hell with Prowl's logic circuits. Sideswipe watched as he offlined his optics, exvented heavily, and proceeded to reset them. He glared at Will as the human rummaged around in the desk drawer, regarding the colonel as though he were something nasty he had just stepped in. "Did you need something?"

"Yes." Will replied. The colonel had come up with a sheet of paper and a pen. It took him three attempts, but he managed to click it and began scrawling on the paper. "We need supplies."

"Supplies?" Sideswipe could tell that Prowl's dubiousness was at war with his sense of duty. He was unfamiliar with this human-creature, but he was a ranking member of their new ally's military force. Perhaps, despite all of the foolishness from earlier, this was an important situation. And although being new to the planet gave him limited experience to draw on, perhaps it was something he could help with.

Sideswipe knew, _knew_, that was along the lines Prowl was thinking. And allowed the entire situation to play out anyway.

"Here." Will thrust the paper at Prowl. "Priority one. Emergency."

Prowl took the paper with a thumb and forefinger, his optic ridges furrowed as he looked at the frantic writing. "I can't even read this."

"Maybe you should have Ratchet reinstall the language data package."

The Enforcer gave Sideswipe a dead-panned glare as he held the sheet out to him. "I mean, it's the scrawl of a madman."

With a dramatic sigh, Sideswipe took the sheet. Will's handwriting was harsh scratching on his best days and the medication must have been wreaking havoc on his hand-eye coordination. Some of the letters didn't join up and a couple of things were spelled phonetically. But knowing Will as he did, Sideswipe was able to put it together. "Root beer, cheese poofs, salsa, chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, and an order of 'hot wings'."

"What?" Prowl asked in irritated bewilderment.

Sideswipe thought for a second before answering. "If I told you that these materials were vital to the further survival of the planet upon which we stand . . . would you buy that?"

"No."

Epps was no more good after that. The man snorted before breaking into deep, rich laughter. "Prowl, looks like you've been elected for the Colonel's emergency munchie-run."

"What," Prowl was grinding his dente, "is a 'munchie-run'?"

"Um," Sideswipe was having a hard time keeping his faceplates straight, "that would be a mission to procure human food-stuffs to satisfy the carbohydrate cravings usually associated with a euphoric feeling brought on by the ingestion of a controlled substance."

Prowl was positively seething. His optics flared to a brighter blue, boring into Sideswipe. His doorwings formed a sharp "V", apparently out of embarrassment and frustration. His entire body was tense to the point that one of his joint wires was going to snap as he ground out at Sideswipe. "Do you think this is funny?"

"A little bit."

"Hey," Will slurred. He was obviously about to pass out again, leaning back in his chair. Sideswipe noted that Epps had shrewdly put a hand on the back of it to keep him from tipping over. "What part of 'Priority 1' did you miss, Paul? Make with the lights and sirens."

It scared him a little, but Sideswipe could make an educated guess at the colonel's hazy logic. Apparently, since Prowl's alt-mode was an emergency vehicle, he was the perfect candidate for a hasty supply run. Running lights and sirens, he could make it to town in record time. Of course, actually acquiring and purchasing said 'supplies' would be a bit of a challenge for the fifteen-foot-tall robot that really hadn't the faintest idea what these supplies even looked like. Sideswipe decided not to point that out.

Besides, Will had slumped down in his office chair, once more completely oblivious to the world around him. He was actually snoring again.

Prowl stood tall, optics blazing. He took a huge intake of air in through his systems and pushed it out quickly. For a few seconds, Sideswipe wondered if he was simply going to explode as he tried to wrestle with the irritation coursing through his circuits. The plates on his shoulders trembled slightly before he turned on his heel and stalked back across the office bay, slamming the door behind him.

Epps looked up at Sideswipe from beside they're snoring human CO. "He didn't take that well."

"He'll get over it." Sideswipe replied, looking at Will. "How long do you think he can keep these shenanigans up?"

"Don't know." Epps replied, snorting as Lennox snored again. "Sure is making a pain out of himself though. Can you carry him back to the main hangar?"

"I am NOT picking him up again."

"Well, I ain't carrying his butt, either."

In the end, they reached a compromise. Sideswipe reached up and grabbed Will gently, wheelie office chair and all, picking him up and setting him on the floor of the office hangar. Epps had trotted back down the steps and jogged over, grabbing a hold of the back of the chair and dragging it across the floor. Lennox slept on, head tilted back as he snored. Epps shook his head. "Pride of the Ranger corp."

Sideswipe followed them, holding the Cybertronian door open as he went and letting Epps drag their fearless leader's sorry carcass up the sidewalk. He couldn't help but snicker as Epps cussed softly and Will bounced along, totally and blissfully unaware.

As he looked up, he caught sight of Prowl standing near the Junkyard, unnaturally still. Starlight gleamed off his black armor as he stared up into the night.

Sideswipe wasn't sure what made him pause. He wasn't what one would call a deep mech. But pause he did. But there was just something in the way Prowl was holding himself that made Sideswipe pause, refusing to acknowledge the little bit of pity he might be feeling for Prowl. "Hey Epps."

"Yeah?"

"Can you keep an eye on Will for a while longer?"

Epps looked from Sideswipe to Prowl and back. "You realize you wind him up anymore and he's gonna have an aneurysm."

"I know." Sideswipe responded with a smirk. "Can you watch Will?"

"Yeah, I'll watch his crazy ass." Epps looked down at his friend as he mumbled something about chickens. "But I'm putting in for overtime. And he better approve it, too."

"Thanks." Sideswipe watched the two humans disappear into the hangar before moving over to where Prowl stood. "Nice night, huh Paul?"

"This place," Prowl said over his shoulder, "is an undisciplined, insecure, insane asylum."

"Wait until next Tuesday."

"Oh joy." Prowl replied drily. "What's next Tuesday?"

"Bingo night." Sideswipe replied. "This place can get a little wild."

Prowl didn't respond. He went back to staring at the sky.

Prowl really was wound tight. But it wasn't like Sideswipe couldn't understand what the other mech was going through. They had both been exiled from their home planet, just to have that planet destroyed. They had drifted around the galaxy, fighting to survive, trying and not always succeeding to protect the one's they cared for. Pit, they had even both taken up a mantle of guardianship, taking the responsibility of protecting others and vowing to lay down their lives for them if the need ever arose.

Primus, it was annoying to get inside Prowl's processor. Sideswipe could see where he was coming from. And it was leading to a little niggle of remorse at being so impertinent with the tired, frustrated, concerned, probably afraid, but still very annoying mech. Now he was getting irritated again.

He could think of only one way to deal with that. Prowl could probably benefit from it, too.

"Come on."

"What?" There was that flat, annoyed tone again.

"Come on." Sideswipe slid down into his alt-mode and kicked his engine over.

"Where are we going?"

"A wise mech once told me," Sideswipe replied, "that sometimes blowing shit up is the only cure for what ails you."

Prowl seemed ready to protest, but Sideswipe cut him off. "Optimus and the Wreckers are still patrolling. Ratchet will keep an optic on Hound and Bluestreak. Epps will watch Lennox for me. Let's go."

The Enforcer hesitated for another moment before sliding down into his own alt-mode. He had chosen the form of a Dodge Charger. His own engine kicked over, rumbling smoothly.

With a squeal of wheels on the asphalt, Sideswipe flew backwards and whirled away from the Enforcer, spinning his tires as he flew out over the white desert sand. Prowl matched his pace, staying just off his quarter panel. Cueing Prowl, Sideswipe opened a com to Ratchet.

"_Ratchet. Go ahead."_

"How's Will?"

"_Asleep again, for the moment. Epps wants to hog-tie him." _Ratchet responded. _"Where are you?"_

"Prowl and I are taking a drive out to the firing range." Sideswipe's tires sprayed up sand as he maneuvered around boulders and cactus. "Keep an eye on our guests and call us if they need anything.

"_Copy that. Ratchet out."_

There was only the swooshing sound of their tires in the sand for a few moments before Prowl spoke. "Thank you."

"I wasn't lying when I told you I get it." Sideswipe replied, letting his tires weave across the sand and enjoying the feel of the cool night. "Hell, my charges aren't even the same species. But you save them, you worry about them, and all of the sudden you find yourself realizing there's nothing you wouldn't do to keep them safe."

There was a low hum from Prowl, but he didn't respond. However, when Sideswipe pulled up to the range a few minutes later and transformed, the bot seemed a little less defensive than he had before. "What are we doing here?"

Sideswipe switched his optics to their night settings, suddenly seeing the world in stark blacks, whites, and grays. Down the firing field, he could see the targets. Mostly, they were old bomber planes and some wrecks that the local scrapyards had donated to the cause. With a flick, he rotated his servo out for a small enrgon blaster. "Target practice."

And with that, he shot off a blast, nailing one of the old sedans at the far end of the field. It exploded in a ball of fire, an immensely satisfying result.

Prowl watched for a moment before deploying a rifle from beneath the exoplates on his arm. Instead of sheer brute force, though, he opted precision. As Sideswipe watched, Prowl moved along the targets, nailing logo, hood ornaments, or decals on the planes. He was fast and accurate, firing with quick short bursts and making every shot count.

They took turns for about an hour, firing on the jalopies at the end of the range. Finally, Sideswipe stepped back and checked his weapon before rotating it out for a servo again. He looked at Prowl as the mech did the same. "Not bad."

"You either." Prowl nodded. The mech seemed less tense than he had before. Ironhide had always been right about that. Sometimes a good training session on the firing range was enough to loosen a bot up. It reminded them that they were capable of taking care of themselves and those around them. It distracted the processor, shrinking the world into an unfettered existence where only making the shot mattered. It was therapy.

Shadows were beginning to lengthen around them and Sideswipe realized the sun was coming up. "Check it out, Prowl."

The mech looked up to the east where Sideswipe pointed. The mech stood, watching red and orange paint the sky. Then, the first hint of the glowing orb crested the horizon sending its warmth radiating across the land. There was a look of awe on Prowl's faceplates. "I've never seen anything like that."

Sideswipe remembered the first time he had seen an Earth sunrise. It was a memory file that was permanently pinned in his processor. Cybertron's sun had been a weak and dull thing, just barely holding the metal planet in its gravitational pull. Here, it was vibrant and warm. Life-giving.

He remembered something Sarah had said, not long after Ironhide's death. "There never was night or a problem that could not be defeated by a sunrise or hope."

Prowl shot him a bemused look. "What was that?"

"Eh," Sideswipe shrugged, feeling embarrassed. "Sentimental human crap. You better get used to it."

"Noted."

They drove back in silence, each content with their own thoughts for company. Prowl roared on beside him, seemingly enjoying the drive as much as Sideswipe was. The tense vibes that had been radiating off of him for the last ten hours were significantly less, though Sideswipe highly doubted Prowl was the 'loosen up' type. He was an Enforcer, after all. But he did seem more at peace.

They rolled back into the compound and transformed. The place was still quiet and still, most of the humans still asleep.

Prowl took it in. "I never thought we'd end up. . . well, someplace like this."

"Trust me when I tell you there are worse places." Sideswipe said, keeping his tone light and a bit amused. "It's not Cybertron. But it's not boring either."

Blue optics focused on him. "Are you telling me it's like this every day?"

"Pit, no." Sideswipe shook his helm, "It's usually pretty quiet."

Both bots cringed as vibrant, loud music blared over the intercom. They heard something crash in Ratchet's medbay and Epps giving way to a variety of swear words and yelling Lennox's name. In the distance, a dog barked as ABBA's "Take a Chance on Me" screeched into the early morning. A couple of humans in bathrobes and sleepwear came to their front doors, alternately yawning and yelling.

Sideswipe became aware that Prowl had quirked an optic ridge at him. "Would you care to revise your statement?"

Sideswipe couldn't fight down the grin. "Prowl, my friend, welcome to Earth."

* * *

><p><em>No, I have no clue where Will got a copy of that song. My theory is that Ratchet is a closet Mamma Mia! fan.<em>


	5. Chapter 5

_The following morning . . ._

"I don't believe you." Will was sitting backwards on a folding chair, rolling his eyes at Epps who was stretched out on the couch. His bandaged right hand hung in front of him. "You're making it up."

"I am not." Epps had slung an arm over his tired eyes to protect them from the harsh sunlight. "You lost your freakin' mind last night."

"You're making it up." Will said again.

With a snort, Epps moved his arm and looked to Sideswipe. "You tell him."

Sideswipe obliged. "You lost your mind last night, Boss."

They were waiting for Sarah and Annabelle. Ratchet and Thomas were in their respective medbays and Optimus and the Wreckers had retired to their quarters for some recharge. Patrol shifts had been quiet. Quieter than base shifts, anyway.

"Now he's got you in on it, huh?"

"There's nothing to get in on." Sideswipe grinned. "You spent the night making Epps and I chase your butt all over this base."

"Yeah, right."

The door to the main hangar opened and Hound stepped through. Bluestreak followed and Prowl brought up the rear. Sideswipe gave a nod to the Enforcer as the trio approached.

After the Mamma Mia! medley, Lennox had finally gone to sleep and stayed there for a few more hours. When he had awakened, he was back to his normal, efficient self, but with absolutely no memory of the previous night's events.

Immediately, Will stood up. He was all business, but there was a soft smile on his face. "Welcome. It's a pleasure to finally get to meet you. I'm Colonel Lennox. And the lump on the couch is Sgt. Epps."

Hound stepped forward. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Colonel. Sergeant."

"Call me Will."

"Epps. Or Bobby." Epps spoke up.

Sideswipe nearly cracked up at Prowl. The Praxian was eyeing Will warily, waiting, it seemed, for something stupid to fall out of his mouth. Those doorwings were up again, watching with shrewd optics on the man as Hound introduced himself and Bluestreak.

"And this is Prowl."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Prowl." Will replied politely. "Now, I just want you all to know-"

Prowl cut him off. "That you know twenty-five ways to kill a man with a stapler."

Sideswipe lost it as Epps sputtered his own laughter. Will looked surprised, then confused. "What?"

"That's what you said last night." Prowl told him, completely serious "That you wanted me to know that you knew twenty-five ways to kill a man with a stapler."

"What's a stapler?" Hound asked, looking rather amused.

"Unclear at this time." Prowl replied.

"Prowl," Will began gently, "This is the first time I have met you."

"No, sir." Prowl looked like any notions he had about low Will's intelligence level were being confirmed. "This is our third encounter."

"Third?

"Yes." Prowl said. "The first time, you told me about the stapler. The second time, you asked me to procure supplies for you."

"Procure supplies?"

"What Sgt. Epps termed a 'munchie-run'."

Will looked at Prowl for a moment before narrowing his eyes at Epps. "You've even got the new guys in on it."

"In on what? Prowl asked as Epps just shook his head.

Sideswipe took a deep vent to cool his systems. "The Colonel believes you are part of a grand conspiracy."

"To what purpose?"

"I haven't got a clue."

"To make me crazy." Will put in. "You guys really expect me to believe that I did all of this stuff and I have no memory of it?"

"So, your theory is that your entire staff has gotten together and concocted some elaborate farce simply to embarrass you?" Prowl canted his head to study Lennox. "You think very highly of yourself."

Will looked stunned but Epps laughed. "Because we have better things to do than sit up all night thinking up crazy stories."

"Yeah, Boss." Sideswipe grinned. "You might be interested to know the Earth exists in a heliocentric solar system. The world does not revolve around you."

The colonel was laughing himself, now. "That's not what I meant. I remember none of this."

Hound had sat down on the couch, settling into the padding and looking comfortable. Bluestreak had scrabbled up beside him. The youngling was watching them all, and Sideswipe couldn't help but wonder what this whole situation might be like for him. He moved in close to Hound, but watched them all curiously instead of frantically scanning the room like he had done the night before. Sideswipe offered a smile and a slight wave. He got a smile in response before the mechling shyly buried his face into Hound's plates.

Beside Sideswipe, Prowl was recounting the entire exchange from the previous night. Will was listening, but when Prowl finished, he said bluntly. "I don't like rootbeer."

"That's your rebuttal?" Prowl replied. He seemed annoyed again, but almost amused, too. "You don't like rootbeer?"

"Totally blows apart the whole story." Will told him. "If I had asked for ginger ale, I would be able to believe you."

Prowl looked to Sideswipe. "Are humans always like this?"

"What? Glitch-headed and completely illogical?" Sideswipe just wanted to make sure he was clear on those points. Prowl nodded. "I can't speak for the whole human race, but such seems to be the case with our humans."

"We are not your humans." Epps spoke up again tiredly. "How many times do I have to tell you that?"

The human door to the hangars opened and blonde flash sped across the floor. "Dad!"

"Hey!" Will moved forward, catching his daughter with his good arm and locking her in a bear hug. He gave her a sound kiss on the cheek. "How's my girl?"

"Good." Blue eyes looked down at the sling. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Will bounced her a little as if to illustrate before turning to his wife. She had followed at a more sedate pace and grinned when he kissed her. "How was the trip?"

"Long." Sarah pulled a face. "I forgot what it's like to actually have to drive that distance. Sideswipe has me spoiled."

"Once you go Autobot you never go back." Sideswipe responded.

She laughed at him, leaning against Will as she raised an eyebrow. "So how was your night?"

"Fine." Will answered far too lightly and far too quickly.

"I wasn't actually talking to you, dear." Sarah looked over at Epps on the couch. "Well?"

"You married a nut."

"I knew that. What happened?"

"They're trying to convince me that I threatened our new friends with office supplies." Will nodded towards the three new mechs. "Hound, Bluestreak, Prowl: meet my ladies. Sarah and Annabelle."

"Hi!" Annabelle bounced over Will's shoulder and Sideswipe held down a servo to her. She climbed on and followed her father's instructions to sit still as Sideswipe smoothly brought her up against his chassis. "Hi, Sides."

"Hey, Bit." Sideswipe responded fondly.

"Hi, Prowl." Annabelle looked up at him happily.

"Greetings, Annabelle." The bot looked to Sideswipe as the child called greetings to the other two bots. "I'm amazed that a creature so small is not intimidated by us."

"Nothing fazes her." Sideswipe smiled down at her. Annabelle was talking to Hound now and Bluestreak was curiously watching her from beside his adopted caretaker. "Course, she practically grew up with Ironhide. I guess that's to be expected.

Keeping an optic on his youngest charge, Sideswipe turned to Sarah. "I've got something for you."

A knowing smile spread across her face. "Do you now?"

Epps held up a disc. "Material suitable for blackmailing purposes."

"You _taped _it?" Will asked incredulous as his wife made a giddy noise and trotted over to collect her gift from Epps. "Why didn't you tell me that?"

"How is that fun for us?" Sideswipe asked as he carefully set Annabelle back on the floor.

Immediately, Sarah dropped the disc into the tray of the DVD player and turned on the television. Grinning, she turned to her husband. "Maybe now you'll believe me about the Waffle House Incident."

As the humans settled down to watch the footage, Prowl shook his head. "Strange creatures, humans."

"You have no idea." Sideswipe responded with a small grin.

The End

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong> So ends the craziness. I have a collection of fluffy one-shots in my head that might make it on here. I'm not sure. They're from the same continuity I outlined with this silliness. _

_Thanks to everyone that reviewed. I love it when someone tells me that they laughed so hard they cried. You guys were so awesome. I'm glad you enjoyed it._


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